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Writer's pictureDalton Hessel

5 People On Every Intramural Sports Team

Updated: Jun 9, 2022



Intramural sports can be some of the best nights of college. You and your friends may use it as a means of getting together once a week to have fun and possibly work off some of the weekend’s bad decisions (ice cream, pizza, beer, etc.) On the other hand, you and your friends are in it to win it and have dreams of throwing on that championship t-shirt when it’s all said and done. No matter what side of the spectrum you are on, there are going to be these five people on every intramural sports team out there.


1. The No Name.



You’ve never really gotten to know this person’s name, but they somehow have made it on the roster due to one of your friends inviting them for a game or two. They make some pretty amazing plays, but all you can say to them is, “good job, buddy,” or “hey, keep it up!”


2. The Coach.



You almost want to go out and buy this person a whistle. They are constantly on everyone’s case about the proper form or technique they should be using. They have probably lobbied for your team to have practice on one or more occasion. This person takes things way too seriously and you wouldn’t be surprised if five or ten years down the road they were sending in their old highlight footage like Uncle Rico.


3. The Newbie.



They are your friend, but they are the most unathletic person you have ever met. You try to strategically place them in spots where the ball isn’t normally hit in softball, and you cringe every time a pop fly is hit in their general direction. The main reason you invited them to be on the team is because you are tired of seeing them watch Netflix by themselves, in their pajamas by 7 o’clock on a Tuesday night with a half-gallon of ice cream resting in their lap.


4. The Trash Talker



This person can chirp with the best of them and has probably gotten you or one of your teammates into trouble at some point in time. You don’t know how they keep coming up with new material every game, but you enjoy it. This person helps stir the pot in creating rivalries amongst your team and other intramural squads. If the person is that good at trash talking, everyone in your league may hate your team. Which is sometimes a fun role to play.


5. The Human Highlight Reel.





This person comes up with amazing play after amazing play. Touchdowns, home runs, three pointers, they can do it all. You often wonder how they didn’t make a university team, but the person typically replies that they don’t have time for it. You expect this person to come through in clutch situations and they are the main reason that you and your other teammates stay close in games.


Some of the best relationships you make in college can be formed through intramural sports and if you aren’t in a league yet, you should join one. It may not be as intense as your high school sports used to be, but hey, that’s the beauty of it. Who knows, maybe you’ll have a collection of t-shirts and cups by the end of your college career.


-Dalton


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